I recently got an eyeful of illegal alien anus, in my dreams.
It all started, as these things do, in the beginning... I had moved into my dreamy new apartment in Sherman Oaks, the Bel-Air of the Valley, and was madly in love with the balcony facing into the enclosed courtyard. It was completely private.
No one is ever out here, I remember the landlady tell us upon moving in. But all that was about to change.... See, I love to breathe in that fresh California air, while sipping chai tea with a splash of french vanilla creamer, from early in the morning to late at night. I especially love doing this outside on the balcony, which is quite close to the windows of another apartment. The tenant was hardly ever there and left the blinds open, allowing me to see that she had one wall painted blood red, with a giant baroque mirror in a golden frame and a parrot. I would sit out there for hours staring at that bird, with its green feathers and blood red wall. It seemed content enough with me and its own reflection for company. Then one day, they moved out.
The blood red wall was painted white, which took several coats, and before long, a new resident had staked her claim and moved in. The blinds were left open and we were able to observe that she had very little, if any, furniture. Her financial state must have been dismal, because she apparently couldn't afford clothes either. JR noticed it first. He called me outside to verify that, indeed, our new neighbor was dancing around, completely nude. I thought that this was just an accident. She quickly realized that we could see her, and she fidgeted with the blinds, unsuccessfully, before simply killing the lights. It was over almost as soon as it had began, until the next time.
I have seen our new neighbor naked almost everyday since she moved in. I have come to expect it, in a way. She has a nice body, which seems to be what everybody wants to know. She's quite beautiful, but that's not the problem. As a gay man, I have nothing against women. I think they are pretty great, actually. And I can also appreciate the female form, it just doesn't make me bark, that's all... Anyway, this seems like an innocent enough thing. I simply ignore her ass and the fact that she will answer the door in the buff. She must know who is coming over ahead of time, right? The thing that is bothersome to me is the fact that I have had several graphically disturbing dreams about seeing naked people through windows and that, my friends, freaks me out.
Just the other night, I dreamt of an entire family, naked as the day they were born, parading around my inland empire. I ran across the street where I saw a man in a compromising position with a cat. Needless to say, the cat was not happy about the situation and I found myself banging my hand against the glass, shouting:
Stop that! Hoping, at least, to startle the cat off the naked man. This is now the kind of thing I am dreaming about and I don't like it one bit. Should I say something to my naked neighbor? Or should I spend more time in my own birthday suit? I don't know.
But I do know that other people's windows are literally windows into their lives. Perhaps I need to look into my own for a change.
