Say NO to June Gloom!

Or just be sad... It's up to you.

Dirty Blonde Gets Clean

Courtney Love sports her new "intellectual" look in an ad for Amnesty International's Human Rights Campaign. And of course, no trash rock diva can wear glasses and get away with it without signing a deal to publish her "memoirs" this fall. That's right, Courtney Love has written a book or a least wrote enough things down on toilet paper, rolling papers and bathroom walls, that an editor was able to compile them together into what promises to be as unique a manuscript as Love is a star.

We will protect the humans, Courtney. But who will protect you?

Rumour #2

"I desperately want to write a chorus with one chord that repeats twelve times and then scream: Somebody Loves Me, but it just doesn't ring true."

That's what I told the elder tribesmen during my interrogation in the Great Hall of HuManity. I think it went well. But Jim disagreed.

You have to find that somebody.

I can't, it's too hard.

So you've given up?

I suppose.

Name your poison.

Why?

Just do it!

Chocolate soda.

So be it. Are you an enigma or an anomaly?

I'm precious.

The thought police are onto me, so I'm sending mixed signals. Read between the lines. Reach for the chaos, but never lose control. Our dreams are sacred, as is the manic roar of our hearts.

Confused? Don't be.

We Crucify Ourselves?

Get off the cross, Madonna... I need the mirror.

Zen You Were Mine

Does it ever get easier?

Working to get PAID

I'm in the middle of a pretty gruelling project at work. The hours are long, the people are stupid, and the only thing that is keeping me sane is the thought of getting paid and having more time to do the things I really enjoy, like; sitting around in my underwear, eating tacos, watching TV. By the way, if anyone knows of a job that requires these skills, please let me know where to send my resume.

So, dear friends, I apologize in advance if I seem distracted. I am doing the best I can.

Peace.
SO

I Survived Madonna's Coachella

Much has been written about the events in the Sahara Tent last weekend, and I don't really have much to contribute to the conversation. I just want to say that, despite rumours that she has had some work done, I thought Madonna looked great. Judge for yourself:



It was quite an experience, one which I am not ready to fully document here, but I did want everyone to know that I did indeed survive yet another weekend of debauchery in the desert.

Countdown to Coachella!

I can't wait to see Depeche Mode, Tool, Daft Punk, Sigur Ros, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Sleater-Kinney, Scissor Sisters, Massive Attack, Phoenix and of course, Madonna.

As I gear up for this year's festival, I thought I could share some photos from last year.

Thank you for the big ass screens. New Order was like a mile away!

Gram Rabbit was a happy surprise...They are too groovy!

JR sprung a leak! Every event has its mishapes. He didn't seem too upset...

Giant paper mache babies and robotic arms do not mix:


This was taken in "Tent City"- yeah, baby: we are campers! And it is proof that pirates were amongst us:


More information on the most bitchin' festival in the world can be found at Coachella.com

Ultra-White

I don't know why I thought that repainting my bathroom would be fun. I was all excited as I purchased the necessary supplies at my local Lowe's. The color I picked was "Ultra White", which I thought sounded really cool and would be a much needed improvement on the dingy "Ugly White" that was already there. I drove home frantic. I could hardly contain myself as I scrounged around for a screwdriver to pop open the can. I popped, I poured, and I dipped my roller. Then I started to paint. After about thirty seconds on the ceiling, it hit me: This fucking sucks! Somehow in my excitement, I had forgotten one crucial detail. I absolutely detest manual labor, but now I was committed and had to press on.

I'm not sure how long I was in there, breathing the fumes, sweating profusely and cursing under my breath. But the finished result was nice. It's fairly shocking to see an entire room painted "Ultra White" and I understand why people shy away from it, opting for a more subdued "Apache White" or "Eggshell." I like it and it comes in handy in the morning, when I am still groggy. It says: Wake the fuck up! This is the FUTURE!



Also, if anybody asks, I can say Stanley Kubrick designed it.

The pictures don't do justice to the utter lack of subtlety.

Dear Mr. President

This live version of "Dear Mr. President" by Pink really moves me. Is this the same girl who wanted to get the party started? When did she start channeling the Dixie Chicks? I, for one, am gonna go right out and pay full price for her new album, just to piss off those who piss on our right to free speech. Let's not forget what happened to those Chicks from Dixie when they critisized the Prez.

If you like Pink's protest song, you should check out "When the President Talks to God" by Bright Eyes. You can find a link to the free iTunes download HERE

Personally, I am pretty fed up with "I'm the decider." I hear Neil Young has some harsh words for W, as well, but at this point...who is listening? I'm watching Weeds and thinking about the desperation of housewives. I've got sticky fingers, a bad attitude and a lot of time to kill. Maybe I should take a shower.