A Place on Earth

Well, it's that time of year again when the palm trees are decorated with twinkling lights and people wear scarves in 70 degree weather. Californians are so weird. But alas, it is time for me to return to the land of my birth, my desert from which I sprang, Arizona. I quite look forward to the trip this year, as I will be driving my brand new car, a 2006 Toyota Matrix. It's white and pristine and I absolutely adore it. It's my present to myself, even though I will be paying for it for years to come. A new car is like a new skin, a better version of myself and to compliment it, I have darkened my hair to a ruddy brunette color. The contrast is nice, though I have to admit, I miss being blond even though it had grown into an unsightly mess and had to be dealt with. My family will be happy.

Holidays baffle and confuse me and Christmukkah is no exception. I don't particularly dig celebrating the "birth" of Jesus, which was accented last year by my Mormon family showing me Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ". Why not? What better way to celebrate someone's birth than by watching them tortured for hours and then hung on a cross to die? My sins need no atonement, thank you. So, I am hoping to avoid the Christian aspects of the season and concentrate instead on Santa and the materialism that make this country great.

I did catch quite a bit of Barbara Walters Special "Heaven: Where is it? How do we get there?" and had to laugh at her interest in this subject, though I quite enjoyed hearing from the Dalai Lama. My own views on this subject were not represented by any of her religious interviewees, not that I particularly expected them to be. I am actually more interested in figuring out what life BEFORE death is all about. That seems like a more worthwhile endeavor. After all, if Heaven exists or Hell for that matter, I will worry about that when the time comes. Truth be told, there is no guaranteed way into the pearly gates. No one knows for sure and I am truly suspicious of those who think they do.

To quote the great poet Belinda Carlisle: "Heaven is a place on earth." That makes enough sense, right? Anyway, Happy Holidays to you, no matter what you believe.