Don't Dream It's Over

I rarely, if ever, remember my dreams. I'm not talking about the "I want to be a fireman or Anne Bancroft when I grow up" variety, but the actual sleep induced hallucinations usually accompanied by rapid eye movement. Many of the books I read tell me that dreams can be quite useful in figuring out what is happening in the conscious life we lead. I figured that nothing of interest goes on when I'm sleeping, because I never remember. Boy, was I wrong!

Last night, after popping a couple of Valerian, I dreamt of strange and fantastical things. It all started with this gothic picture of Madonna. It was understood that Madonna was a vessel for different spirit personalities and you could often tell which spirit possessed her, just by the photographic evidence. In this case, the spirit was that of an ancient vampire, who through the magic of dreams was then zapped into the body of an infant and placed in my charge. I loved my baby vampire and vowed to take good care of her, even after she bit my lip. Never kiss an infant with fangs!

I went into the kitchen to prepare a blood bottle for my baby and that's when the BOOM! happened. I ran to the door of my apartment and saw that the earth was covered with water. I live on the second floor and the sea level was rapidly approaching. The other occupants of the building, none of which I had ever met, watched in horror as we realized the downstairs neighbors must have drowned. Also, it sucks to see a car that you owe $30,000, completely submerged.

The landscape was quickly changing. The Hollywood Hills had grown and moved closer. I could feel the building cracking loose from the earth. I had the idea to evacuate on a raft built from the box springs of the bed. I urged everyone to grab what they wanted to save, but they all seemed disinterested. A beautiful black woman, tall and thin, entered my apartment, reading. "By the way," she said. "That book you gave me? I never want you to mention it again." What book? But it didn't matter, because at that moment, the entire building came loose from the ground and began thrashing about the apocalyptic seas. It was sort of fun, in a Titanic way. I realized it was up to me to save everyone, that's when I noticed the monster.

Our building, which now resembled a tugboat, was riding on the back of a great sea monster which was hell bent on destroying us. Eventually, we crashed into a land mass that enabled me to flag down a giant backhoe type machine that was so big, it could lift us to safety. The machine managed to grab onto our "ship" and lift it into the air. The problem was that the monster had merged with the ship and threatened to destroy us if the temperature got too cold. In the open air, everything began to freeze. If the monster died before we were able to separate it from the ship, we were all doomed. I worked closely with the entity that had driven the machine and we were able to keep it from freezing. The sun began to shine and that helped a lot.

Then I woke up.

I rarely, if ever, remember my dreams, but when I do... Well, it's weird.