It's Like a Dog, It Will Bite You...

I return to the keyboard, mouse and publish button. It's not that I didn't have fun with my other mistresses, canvases, paints and guitars... Just that I hate the Dilettante card. Hate, hate, hate it.... No, I would much rather be an Artist. True Artist. Favorite Artist. Anything but an amateur.

I cut my own hair last night. Chopped at it viciously with a scissor until I could regain my composure enough to stop. It looks okay. Would probably be a better look if this was 1963. No, you can't see a picture. I will have to turn in my hipster union card, though. I'm totally uncool right now. Maybe that admission makes me cool again. But I have a slight headache, oatmeal to eat and a body to punish at the gym.

I hope that we can be friends again. All my imaginary ones have long since left the building... Come back to the five and dime with me?

God's Greatest Hits

Super duper deep in a Nilsson moment right now. What an amazing genius talent that man was! Words cannot describe... If you only know "Without You" or "Everybody's Talkin'"- you simply have no idea. Go get some Nilsson music today!!! It will change your life.

I miss blogging like I used to do. No one burned down the temple but me. I hope to return. The tumblr is unfulfilling and twitter gives me ADD. My facebook is like a shitty magazine of People I happen to know. I'm bored by the internets and glistening for the next big thing... I'd rather be dead than wet my bed, too, Harry.

Follow Me

I tumblr for ya!

Forever Again

Thought I would share this old song. Pretty much sums up where I'm at tonight....



Forever Again

you already let me down
left me alive enough to hate the sound
voices in the other room
birds at night contemplate my doom

take what you will and get out
leave me to disintegrate into the void
i used to be a challenger
now all that's left is a scared little boy

carving out my history
was it the needle that set me free?

when love goes wrong, as it often does
you can still move on
but death, it seems, wants something more
than a little piece of me

I could be lethal
I can be cruel
I can sense a target
Inside of you

It's my new best friend
on the ride with me
Til the bitter end
It's my destiny:

learn how not to be alone
forever
again

Written and performed by Saviour Onassis
®

Patti Smith "You Light Up My Life" on "Kids Are People Too"

Coachella 2010

Beard the Lion

When I quote William Shakespeare, you reply in Dickinson...
But your multitude of angels can't compare to my wit, man!

I never predicted that growing facial hair would garner me compliments like: "Nice beard!" Standard response, thus far has been: "Yeah, Nicole Kidman is busy, so...." No one gets it, but I don't care.

I'm really only afraid of looking like a fleet fox or some other harbinger of hipsterdom. If only there was a way to wake up tomorrow with the full glory of Whitman's white mane. How long did that sort of gravitas take to cultivate anyway?

Recently, I've been planning my Coachella experience, which happens this coming weekend. I am very excited. Camping again in the Polo Fields. It's as close to nature as I like to get. I still have a lot to do this week and have very little get up and go at present. Sometimes I feel like a careless whisper. Though I aspire to live la vida loca.... Martin over Michael. Also, it pains me to admit that in the Walt department, I prefer Disney to Whitman. Though, I can proudly proclaim de la Renta loses sorely to Wilde in my personal Oscar race. Have I gone off subject again?

I recommend burrowing deep into THE WORM, if you got the time.

Awake and Die

Despite indications to the contrary, awesome seems the only word fit to describe my current state of being. Though, if asked how I feel... I may be inclined to respond: lavendar in order to indicate the relative calm, relaxed and somewhat satiated presentness of my situation. All this and the knowledge that what I think and feel are rather ridiculous functions and by-products of my brain and body. Who cares what I think or feel? I am certainly learning not to and that, my friends, is awesome.

Rebirth has its merits. Also, it tends to be less sticky, which is a quality I find myself seeking more and more.

If you had to, could you make God in a lineup?

Name him? Finger him? Identify him? J'accuse!

For me, it would depend on where they placed the mirror.

And

which side

of the glass

I was on.

We Make Contact

Thankfully, the horror that was last decade is finally over. Two thousand nine will forever be remembered as a year of massive loss. So long, farewell, etc....

If, as promised, we make contact this year... I hope that it will be to our collective advantage.

Terminator: Salivation

It's been three days since I had my lingual braces installed on my upper teeth. Three days of painful, uncomfortable, tongue-lacerating, almost impossibly ridiculous torture. And this, I have done to myself. Nevermind that not one person said to me: "Don't get braces! It's not worth it! Remember Miranda!" They tell me that it gets better. Somehow I am supposed to get used to it. But it's going to take everything I've got to overcome the worst new side effect of adult braces: the lisp.

As if I didn't sound gay enough already, now I've got a horrible Drew Barrymore thing going on. But, if Drew can overcome her lisp and effectively affect an East Hampton accent to portray Little Edie Bouvier Beale, then so can I.... Overcome my lisp, that is. Not that I wouldn't mind being Edie for a spell, but it could become a bit boring.  For too long a time, I mean... That seems to be my biggest obstacle right now. Trying to reconcile the past and the future. Trying to be in the moment but not be overwhelmed by it. I am desperate to adapt to my current predicament. How much cuter can straighter teeth possibly make me? 

I turn 38 soon and I'm thinking that this must be my version of a midlife crises. My little red corvette moment in the sun. My inner teenager thrusting himself to the foreground. My poor tongue! People having been asking me why I chose to get braces now. Frankly, I don't have a very good answer for that. I have always lamented the fact that, as a teen, my family didn't have insurance and couldn't afford braces. At least, that's the memory I am choosing. How awful if we could have afforded it and my parents just denied me a chance to have a pretty smile! I just hate the way my teeth look, I guess. And if these braces do their job, I won't have to worry about that ever again. I told my orthodontist that I want a proper Osmond smile. In the meantime, call me brace face, metal mouth, train tracks, cheese grater, atomic lips, stump grinder or just Terminator. 

Here's drooling on you, kid!

SO