Just when you start to lose the holiday weight, another freakin Greeting Card holiday comes along with it's stupid heart-shaped boxes full of chocolates to fuck you up again. Valentines Day sucks the balls of a week old carcass, rotting in the sun. I hate it.
So, to not celebrate V-day, I picked up a copy of Comedy Central's Roast of Pamela Anderson. Funny stuff, including Bea Arthur reading excerpts from Pam's novel. "I don't want anything to do with your wiener!" Neither do we, Bea, neither do we... But the most out of context appearance was by Courtney Love, who not only subjected herself to roasting by all the comedians, but gave them a scare by trying her own hand at stand up comedy. Like Pam said: "I knew she could do comedy, I just didn't know if she could stand up!"
Courtney, in keeping with her theory that she is the center of the universe, did jokes with herself as the punchline. My favorite? "Last week, I was handcuffed in a jail cell and sodomized without a condom and just my luck...I lost his phone number." Also, "Pam is the girl you want to fuck and tell all your friends. I'm the girl you want to fuck and refuse to tell anybody, then go see the doctor..." Courtney kept insisting that she had been clean and sober for a year. It was funny and weird and sad because just days later a judge ordered her back to rehab. But she's out now and ready to resurrect her career as a national disgrace.
I love Love. You go girl!