Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Dirty Blonde Gets Clean

Courtney Love sports her new "intellectual" look in an ad for Amnesty International's Human Rights Campaign. And of course, no trash rock diva can wear glasses and get away with it without signing a deal to publish her "memoirs" this fall. That's right, Courtney Love has written a book or a least wrote enough things down on toilet paper, rolling papers and bathroom walls, that an editor was able to compile them together into what promises to be as unique a manuscript as Love is a star.

We will protect the humans, Courtney. But who will protect you?

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Rumour #2

"I desperately want to write a chorus with one chord that repeats twelve times and then scream: Somebody Loves Me, but it just doesn't ring true."

That's what I told the elder tribesmen during my interrogation in the Great Hall of HuManity. I think it went well. But Jim disagreed.

You have to find that somebody.

I can't, it's too hard.

So you've given up?

I suppose.

Name your poison.


Just do it!

Chocolate soda.

So be it. Are you an enigma or an anomaly?

I'm precious.

The thought police are onto me, so I'm sending mixed signals. Read between the lines. Reach for the chaos, but never lose control. Our dreams are sacred, as is the manic roar of our hearts.

Confused? Don't be.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Monday, May 08, 2006

Working to get PAID

I'm in the middle of a pretty gruelling project at work. The hours are long, the people are stupid, and the only thing that is keeping me sane is the thought of getting paid and having more time to do the things I really enjoy, like; sitting around in my underwear, eating tacos, watching TV. By the way, if anyone knows of a job that requires these skills, please let me know where to send my resume.

So, dear friends, I apologize in advance if I seem distracted. I am doing the best I can.


Sunday, May 07, 2006

I Survived Madonna's Coachella

Much has been written about the events in the Sahara Tent last weekend, and I don't really have much to contribute to the conversation. I just want to say that, despite rumours that she has had some work done, I thought Madonna looked great. Judge for yourself:

It was quite an experience, one which I am not ready to fully document here, but I did want everyone to know that I did indeed survive yet another weekend of debauchery in the desert.