What Are You Lookin' At?

Happy Anniversary, Darling!

While You're On Your Knees is officially one year old. The self-portrait above is in tribute to Self Portrait As, a bloody brilliant blog by my dear friend Holly, who is responsible for talking me into the blogesphere in the first place. So, if you like what you read here... Please barrage Holly with unnecessary and annoying comments about me. NOT! Because the world revolves around me, I need you to keep the unnecessary and annoying comments coming HERE, even though I have been a rather shitty blogger lately. My life changed substantially in the last year and even more in the last few months, so cut me a break, okay?

It seems like only yesterday that I wanted to pet every monster that I met. Love, truly, is the danger for me and the ultimate undoing. I only want to be loved, but who could love one with such a soiled and sordid past? I shall tell you who... No one and so I gave myself a new name with which to curse the ungrateful masses.

I feel like a ghost, walking through a crime scene. I am a figment of JT Leroy's imagination. Like Jackie, in the end I realized that I had to save myself or enlightenment would never come. Oh, I tried many vices and devices to help me along the way, but I was never a good liar. Bullshit, sure, I am full of that... But honest-to-goodness lying just gets you into the frying pan and that's one place I hope I never have to go.

Like the time I was so rude to some dumb bitch at the grocery store... Actually, that is so very politically incorrect of me. Let me try again: Like the time I was so fucking rude to some dumb bitch at the grocery store, Ma'am, I apologize. I appreciate the game you are playing, but I will not play along. Here, have a lullaby, I've got a prescription.

It wasn't until about June that I started losing my religion in a real and major way. Not my religion exactly, it was more like losing my mind. I started hanging out with imaginary friends with even bigger problems than my own. June is also my birth month. I hate my birthday because I really resent being born in the first place. I didn't get half the shit I ordered and the box it came in was simply wrong. I thought a lot about how much I relate to William H. Macy's character in Magnolia and how very sad that is.

So, I decided that if I didn't want to resign myself to a life on Magnolia Boulevard (where I actually used to live), where I only had to answer to monsters, I had to change. I moved into a bigger apartment and became a bigger bitch, just ask JR, he'll tell you the simple truth. But I don't want to live the simple life anymore. I want everyone to see, hear, touch and smell... That's right smell how fucking fabulous I am! I want it all and I want it now! But if I am going to end up like that nasty little cunt in the Chocolate Factory, I'm going to need some time to think.

While I am thinking, I hope you take the time to peruse the links I have provided here. Just to review exactly what you are looking at, who I am and possibly who you are, too. Thank you to all the dear, sweet, blogger friends I have made over the last year. Without you, darlings, I am nothing...

Much Love and Blessings,
Saviour Onassis