While it may seem like I have dropped off the face of the earth in the last few weeks, the truth is, I have actually been orchestrating the end of it. No, I never really imagined myself managing the apocolypse. It is not exactly on my list of dream jobs, but it was given to me and I did the best I could. Lives were lost, quite literally, and alliances severed, but I somehow was able to presevere and survive what I can only describe as HELL...
I battled some of my deepest fears and confronted the demons that haunt me. I have come to realize that MATH is my mortal enemy. I was always one of those kids who insisted that I would never have a job that involved MATH, let alone WORD PROBLEMS! Yet, I have found myself thinking about, staring at, and dealing with many many many numbers. I hate them.... They suck.
Part of my job involves dealing with zombies, mainly payment of zombies, but dealing with them, nonetheless... How often do you get to hand a fifty dollar bill to a three year old zombie baby? I like to count my blessings, as well as my curses. The zombies ate all the snacks and some of the crew. Locals are always difficult to control.
I might have seen a rockstar's weiner. Actually, I know I saw a weiner, but I'm not sure if it's owner is a bona fide rockstar or not. Cute, though, and it caused me to download the album from iTunes, so the "flash" technique works, no matter what market research might show.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you all know that I am still alive and well, despite the zombies, flashings, word problems, deaths, and the end of the world as we know it. I feel fine. Now, how the fuck are you?