Friday, December 08, 2006

Does my blog make me look fat?

Or rather, desperate? Or needy? Or crazy? I only ask because I think that it might scare off any prospective suitors. Imagine clicking here for the first time and reading my last post. Would YOU want to date me after that? I came to the conclusion that I am a scary mess whilst working out this afternoon. The treadmill was treading away and I tried to examine the reasons why I am alone. I don't recommend this, as it makes for a very hard workout. Forced to watch muscle-bound pornstars flirt with each other and all I really want to do is see what's on Oprah today. Move that well sculpted ass out of my eyeline, please... Thank you.

Who am I working out for anyway? Do I somehow think that masturbation will be more alluring if I, too, have a well scultped ass? I just don't know anymore. It's really not about getting laid anyway. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I just need something more. I want someone who wants me for my body and my mind. Is that such a tall order? What I do know is that I am sitting home alone on a Friday night in Los Angeles, eating soup and blogging...

I would like to think that the more information one has about another is helpful in determining compatibility, etc. But then I took this retarded online quiz about how to find my soulmate and the result said that I would have to have 68 dates before that happens. That's right, 68 different dates with 68 different people at 68 different times. I have no way of knowing exactly where I am in this numbers game, but I would suspect that I am really, really, really close.

The moral of this story, kids: I am ready for 69!

4 comments:

Dale said...

That's pretty damned funny Saviour.

Your complexity indicator is a little elevated but a suitor who wasn't willing to be at least a little challenged wouldn't be worth much.

Soup and blogging's not so bad when you consider you could be settling for slurping on something a lot less filling. I totally didn't mean for that to sound dirty.

n.v. said...

I love your blog.

n.v. said...

You're the man I want except that you're in LA and you suck dick. You're gay, right?

Tumuli said...

The dating pool in many places leaves much to be desired, so you are actually in a far better position, sculpted or not...

BTW: My word verification was "onan." Coincidence?!