Sunday, August 28, 2005

Skin and Bones

So there I am, naked, on the phone with Holly, expounding the virtues of blogging when I notice a horrible rash on my ass. Actually it goes all the way up my back. I have had a similar rash on my back before, but never in the nether regions. This is quite distressing.

"What did you sit in?" Asked Holly.

"My Underwear!" I replied.

I sat around in my hot, dark studio apartment for practically the entire week in my underwear drenched in sweat. Oh sure, I was eating lots of garlic and onions. And yes, I skipped a shower or three. And, of course, I cannot remember exactly how many times I changed my undies. But good grief! This is disgusting. No, I don't have air conditioning or even a swamp cooler. It's a Studio apartment. One room. A kitchen. A bathroom and a couple of closets. No air. No view. No nothing! The refridgerator is full of frost and leaky. I have a fan that is so covered with smoke and smog that when Jason saw it he said: "I didn't know you had a pet."

I start a new job tomorrow and I can't wait to spend a day somewhere that does not encourage fungi to attach themselves to my ass. Not that anyone is noticing anyway. And speaking of that... I lost about 45 pounds or so in the last year and now it hurts to sit down. My ass was never "all that" to begin with, but now it is so boney that it hurts to sit on hard surfaces for very long. There has to be an exercise I can do to make my butt more cushiony. I occasionally indulge in yoga, but that ain't working.

This would probably be a good time to mention that I am studying a lot of philosophical, new age, and scientific data that suggests that we create our reality through our thoughts and intentions. Now a novice would think that just bullstew because why, for instance, would I create a grody rash on my posterior? Why, indeed! Well, I'll tell you. The reality we create is based on these belief systems that we subscribe to. So, somewhere along the line I must have subscribed to a belief that gives me diaper rash. Hmm.... I have been sulking around like a baby and not facing up to my responsibilities recently. That could have something to do with it. I tend to think that this sort of quantum creationist theory is onto something because I have manifested some pretty spectacular stuff when I put my mind to it. Good, bad and ugly, I have done it all. So, there is much here to ponder. In the meantime, I am just skin and bones, sweating the shit out in my whities.

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