It's 10:00pm and I just got home from work. It was a long day that was lengthened by someone's genius suggestion that instead of a coffee run - "How about margaritas?" Since I am working for a predominately Hispanic production company, this idea was not immediately poo-pooed but enthusiastically embraced. The next thing I know, I am handed a salty concoction to fuel the late hours that lay ahead. I thought about pulling the "Oh, I don't drink" card that I proudly carry, then I accepted. That's big. Acceptance of my reality is a huge issue for me as I have not been so great at "rolling with it." So, there I am, working and drinking and talking too loud. It was sort of fun. And also a great opportunity to bond with some of the new people I find myself working with.
The is a certain cultural thing that I am having to adapt to. It seems to involve a different sense of TIME... I realize that I have divided my identity according to time. It's all about integration for me, right now. I think that the schizophrenic nature of my psyche has confused my body, my mind, my reality, my universal perception, etc. My massively conflicting belief systems have manifested a situational comedy in which I am the star. And the key word here is COMEDY. I have operated for a very long time under the assumption that I was in a Shakespearian tale of angst. Not true.
Yeah, so this is all very deep and fuzzy because, through a margarita haze, I am a deep and fuzzy guy right now.
Everyday is like being at Magic Mountain.
Everyday is a beautiful new opportunity to risk it all and ride the biggest, meanest roller coaster around...
And now, a poem:
I have been the author
of a life lived in the dark
and the memory I offer
is the feeling that is sparked
when it all comes together
and then just falls apart.
Though I write with a feather,
I'm as subtle as a fart.