Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Wasted on the Young

Youth was certainly wasted on me. Maybe I just blocked it out, but I hardly remember a thing from my formative years. Take this photo of me on my trusty blue tricycle, for instance. I have no idea where, when or why this was taken. Apparently, I had run into that rusty pole, racked myself and started to cry. How precious! A Kodak moment, no doubt... My first encounter with a pole that brought tears to my eyes.

I'm thinking about this now because my sisters have recently taken up breeding and their offspring cause me to wonder at the miracle of life. Human infants are completely helpless and as I discovered, render me helpless as well. When my nephew Parker would cry, I tried in vain to comfort him and eventually just sat him, screaming, on the couch next to me and hoped he would pacify himself. This, I learned, was NOT acceptable. If I ever adopt, I want a kid old enough to take out the trash. Babies are so boring... Cute and all that, but not intellectually stimulating at all.

They are like little emotion dolls. But seeing as how am I fully aware of the range of human emotion and the triggers, I don't need the kind of practice they provide. I own a mirror.

11 comments:

ziggystardust73 said...

are those dungarees in that photo?

regardless, you looked fucking fabulous even then.

Saviour Onassis said...

Thanks Ziggy. Yeah, dungarees!

Mike said...

I know there are a lot of strange people in LA, but I think i just saw a pregnant tranny on Highland. Can you explain how this could be possible?

Saviour Onassis said...

Umm... A little off the subject, Mike, but my guess is that the pregnancy is part of her "look" or she swallowed a watermelon.

Dale said...

Hilarious and your humour would be wasted on them too. Your last paragraph sells it so well.

Bored Dominatrix said...

They are like little emotion dolls. But seeing as how am I fully aware of the range of human emotion and the triggers, I don't need the kind of practice they provide. I own a mirror.

It's statements like that that make feel just SO DAMN LUCKY to be your friend.

Good grief, you're BRILLIANT, SO.

Saviour Onassis said...

Too much love, I'm gonna explode!

Thank you, Dale and Holly. I cherish the both of ya! You keep me humble.

Anonymous said...

I despise your comment " babies are so boring.." How can watching a new life discover the world around them be such a drag?

Saviour Onassis said...

I despise those who criticize from the safety of anonymity. That said, I do believe that whoever you are, you have completely missed the point of this post. It strikes me as odd that you would take offense to that one sentence "Babies are so boring..." When the entire post is equally, if not more, offensive towards children. Do you come here often? Do you have any idea of the context or details surrounding this blog? I think not.

Do I really think babies are boring? Yes. But luckily I will only see my nephews a couple times a year and in no time at all, they will be walking, talking and vastly more interesting. I really am sorry to offend you, but that's just how I feel. Please ask your doctor about something to help level out your hormones...

Dale said...

I love coming here to read. You are SO brilliant SO. That Holly one too.

Reese said...

Saviour, what an adorable kid you were! That picture is too damn cute.