Sunday, July 09, 2006

A Scanner Drunkly

You would expect Hollywood to have really good movie theaters, and we do. My favorite is the ArcLight Theater, which has big, cushiony seats with leg room, a fantastic sound system and large screens. It also features assigned seating, so you can pick your seat, but there really isn't a bad one in the house. One of the stranger features is the 21+ screenings, where you can drink alcohol from the bar, right in the theater. No smuggling it in... Which is really convenient.

JR and I went to see A Scanner Darkly at the ArcLight last night. It was 21+, so I got carded at the door, which makes me unbelievably happy these days. We had a few drinks at the bar before heading into the theater. After a long, horrible day of apartment hunting, we deserved a little relaxation. Now, I have never been much of a Richard Linklater fan. I hated those romantic crap-fests that he made with Ethan Hawke and that French chick. So the real draw to this film was the presence of its stars. I heart me some Keanu Reeves! And since the movie is about drugs, Linklater cleverly enlisted the Hollywood authorities on this subject, including Robert Downey Jr., Woody Harrelson and Winona Ryder. I was particularly jazzed about Winona because it is my theory that she is the Elizabeth Taylor of my generation, sans the multiple husbands. I hope this girl works until she is old, fat and crazy, too!

Anyway, the actual film was a mind fuck. I think this was due to the animated "rotoscope" thing they did. After staring at that for a few hours, reality gets twisted. Basically, the plot involves Keanu as an undercover agent who is so far undercover that he ends up being assigned to spy on himself. Oh, and he totally gets addicted to Substance D. I'm thinking the D stands for Drugs in general. The whole film is full of trippy metaphors and tweekers posing as thinkers. Now, in my reality, I'm tripping on Substance A, being Alcohol, watching this whole paranoid Big Brother freakfest go down. Am I in this movie or is this movie in me? Is this the best performance of Noni's career? Five years into my withdrawals, I became a major slut. Even if I could catch a beaver, I have no idea how to cook one.

So, yeah. I don't recommend drinking during your scan. It clicks the wheel, but the song never plays. Are the hemispheres of my brain competing? I have no idea, but if they are, they better keep it down because if I have to come up there...


Mike said...

How funny-- I was at the Arclight last night as well seeing AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH. Quite good-- and very important. I highly recommend to anyone even slightly concenred about global warming. A shame we didn't run into you

The Delusioneer said...

as if the delusioneer would cause a scene in the arclight let alone any where else. i just want to agree to disagree on certain things mike. friends i know for you is out of the question but i would still say hi if i ran into you while i was out and about...

Saviour Onassis said...

Lest we forget, this blog is mine and therefore the focus should at all times remain on ME! Petty bickering and any discussion of Tom Petty can be accomplished elsewhere on the world wide web. While in my house, we play by my rules. Capisce? (I'm talking to you, Junior.)

That said, I cannot wait until this Mercury Retrograde bullshit is over, so Mitch can come back. It amazes me how he knew the exact cosmic moment for an imagination vacation. I'm going to need one myself, soon. Obviously, we have to review the chapter on proper usage of commas, comments and comas.

Mike said...

All I'm sayin is that it's a shame I didn't see YOU at the theater. That's all, nothing more. Agreeing or disagreeing or buying into "delusions" wasn't at all part of the statement. This blog is so all about you-- and its why we love you so!

Saviour Onassis said...

Mike- It's a shame that I didn't see you either. I ran into a guy I had a crush on years ago and was horrified and validated when I met his twink boyfriend. Now I know why he wasn't into me.

It's a shame EVERYONE didn't see me at the theater. It's a shame NO ONE asks for my autograph.
It's a shame I can't solve all the worlds problems.
I love soup.

That's about all the sincerity I can muster. I agree, "delusions" that are not my own are better left at the door. Along with your wallet and the number of your next of kin.